Domestic and Family Violence

Domestic and family violence refers to any form of abusive behaviour used to control, intimidate, harm, or instil fear in another person within an intimate relationship or family setting. These behaviours may include physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, social abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, tech-based abuse, stalking and coercive control. 

When these behaviours are rooted in unequal power dynamics, gender roles, or gender-based discrimination, they are often referred to as gender-based violence. Gender-based violence recognises that such violence is not just about individual actions, but is reinforced by broader social norms and systems that support inequality between genders.

Domestic family violence and gender-based violence isn’t always obvious. It’s often a pattern of behaviour that gradually builds over time. It can involve a range of tactics used to control, isolate, or intimidate someone.

These behaviours can change in intensity but often follow a recurring cycle that reaches points of escalation. This escalation is more likely to occur when the person using violence feels like they are losing control. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available.

Coercive control is a pattern of controlling and manipulative behaviours within a relationship that over time creates fear, erodes independence, and significantly limits a person’s freedom and autonomy. Signs of coercive control may include:

• isolating someone from their support system
• monitoring movements, communication or online activity
• denying freedom
• gaslighting (making someone question their memory, perception, or sanity)
• constant criticism or humiliation
• limiting access to money or controlling finances
• turning someone’s children or others against them
• dictating how someone dresses, behaves or cares for their body
• making demands about sex or intimacy
• threatening to harm children, pets or loved ones.

If digital technology is used to harm or abuse someone, this is called ‘technology-facilitated abuse’ or ‘tech-based abuse’. 

Tech-based abuse is a growing issue with 99.3% of Australian family, domestic and sexual violence practitioners having clients who experienced technology-facilitated family and domestic violence.

Every person’s experience of tech-based domestic, family and sexual violence is unique, but examples of this might include someone:

• harassing or threatening you online or with a digital device
• sharing or threatening to share an intimate image or video of you online without your consent, also known as image-based abuse or ‘revenge porn’
• cyberstalking
• controlling your online communication  
• restricting or controlling your access to devices and online accounts
• financially abusing you using technology.

Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Imagine Abuse is a free online tool used to prevent your image or video being shared on certain platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and OnlyFans. 

You can report any incident of tech-based abuse or online harm to the eSafety Commissioner.

As well as finding help and contacting a support service, there are other things you can do to help keep yourself safe. These include to:

Talk to someone you trust: share what’s happening with a friend, family member, or professional like your GP or counsellor. They can offer support and help you stay safe.

Make a safety plan: create a personalised plan to reduce risk and protect yourself. Specialist family violence services can help create a safety plan, or you can visit the 1800RESPECT website to learn more. 

Complete an online safety checklist: given technological safety can be compromised by people using violence, we recommend implementing safety checklists. This checklist can support you to communicate safely, check your devices and online accounts are secure, adjust your social media settings, make sure your home is secure, collect evidence, and make sure no one is tracking you.

Contact a domestic family violence support service: these services provide confidential advice, safety planning, and practical help if you’re experiencing family violence. They can guide you through your options and connect you with legal, housing, and emotional support. You don’t have to face it alone, help is available, and we have included links to various support services below.

Find a safe place: identify a trusted location, such as a friend’s house or local Police station, that you can go to quickly if you feel unsafe. If you need emergency accommodation, crisis and housing services may be able to help. Learn more about this here.

Seek legal advice: legal services can help you understand your rights and how the law applies to your situation. They can assist with applying for intervention orders and to understand other matters like custody arrangements, property and your Visa. Find more information about your state’s legal services.

If you are in danger, or worried for your safety, please call Police on 000.

If you have, or are, experiencing domestic family violence, you can report this the Police at any time. You can do so by calling 000 or by contacting your local Police station. 

Reporting domestic and family violence to the Police can be difficult, especially when fear, safety and emotional ties are involved. However, there are many reasons why reporting is important, these include:

Ensuring safety: police can take immediate action to help protect you or others at risk. This may include removing the person using violence or issuing a protection order.

Holding the person using violence accountable: reporting contributes to broader efforts to stop violence by holding those responsible accountable for their actions. It also helps send a clear message that domestic and family violence is not tolerated.

Building a record of abuse: even if no charges are laid at the time, making a report helps create a formal record of the abuse. This can be important for future legal actions.

Protecting others: in some cases, reporting can prevent further harm, not just to you, but to others who may also be at risk including children or other family members.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. If you would like support to make a report of domestic or family violence, you can contact the CDU Safer Communities Specialist Counsellor by emailing safercommunities@cdu.edu.au.

Please be assured that all information you provide to CDU will be handled with the highest level of confidentiality, however, it is important to note that we are obligated to make mandatory reports in accordance with legislation in each state or territory. 

Get more information about mandatory reporting in the Northern Territory.

Family violence often happens behind closed doors, which can make it hard for those affected to speak up or get help.

As part of the university community, it's important we look out for our friends, classmates, colleagues and peers. A simple question like “Are you safe at home?” can open the door to support and potentially change someone’s life.

If you're concerned someone you know might be experiencing domestic family violence, check in with them. 

You might worry about saying the wrong thing or interfering—but showing you care, with sensitivity and empathy, can make a real difference.

Try to have the conversation privately, somewhere safe and comfortable for both of you. Be respectful, don’t push them to share more than they want to, and let them know you’re there if they ever need to talk or seek support.

You’re not alone in supporting someone—there are resources and services that can help.

Supporting a friend or family member experiencing domestic or family violence can be challenging. It's important to look after your own safety and wellbeing too.

You are also welcome to access the specialist domestic and family violence support services listed on this page.

It can be incredibly difficult to recognise or accept that someone you know may be using violence—but your response matters. If you're in this situation, your safety comes first.

Stay safe. Never put yourself at risk.

 If you witness someone being physically harmed, don’t intervene—call emergency services immediately on 000.

If you’re in a safe position to speak with the person, here are some things to keep in mind:

• Speak calmly and refer to specific behaviours you’ve noticed
• Avoid blaming, judging, or arguing—it could make things worse
• Let them know you’re concerned for their partner or family’s wellbeing
• Don’t excuse or minimise their actions
• Remind them that help is available, and change is possible
• Let them know you believe they can choose to act differently

If you found out about the abuse from the person being harmed, check with them before talking to the person using violence. Speaking up without their consent could increase the risk of harm.

Supporting change can start with a conversation—but only if it’s safe to have one. 

And remember, you don’t have to handle it alone. Reach out to support services or professional organisations for guidance.

Catherine Booth House
Short-term crisis accommodation, case management and support for women over 18 years old, as well as outreach services women and children, men or LGBTQIA+ who are experiencing domestic violence.
Available 24 hours, 7 days a week. 
Ph: 08 8981 5928

CatholicCare NT
Free support and services for those impacted by violence or using violence in their relationships. Specialist services are provided in Darwin, Naiuyu, Tiwi Islands and Wadeye.
Available Mon – Fri 8:30am – 5pm
Ph: 1800 899 855
Email: intake@catholiccarent.org.au

Darwin Aboriginal and Islander Women’s Shelter (DAIWS)
Support, referral, outreach and domestic violence crisis accommodation for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women who are homeless or escaping family violence in Greater Darwin.
Available 24 hours, 7 days
Ph: 08 8945 2284

Dawn House
Provides services to women and children escaping domestic and family violence in Greater Darwin. 
Available: Mon – Fri 8am – 4:30pm
After hours support Ph: 08 8945 1388 
Email: info@dawnhouse.org.au

Katherine Women’s Crisis Centre 
Provides crisis accommodation and related support services to women and children escaping domestic and family violence across the Katherine region.
Available 24 hours, 7 days
Ph: 08 8972 1332
Email: info@kwcc.org.au

Tennant Creek Women’s Refuge
Provides support services and crisis accommodation for women and accompanying children who are victims or in fear of family/domestic violence.
Available 24 hours, 7 days 
Ph: 08 8962 1940